She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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