I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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