but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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