I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
