I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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