Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
