either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
