you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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