sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
