Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
