if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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