your parents love me but you hate me
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You smell like stripper and shame
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
