Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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