After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
