get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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