So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
