I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize