Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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