I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
