eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Farmville is her only friend.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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