i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
