went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize