The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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