I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
