I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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