My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
