AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
