i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
