I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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