i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
