I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
