Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
and she was petting her beer can
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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