YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
