I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I hope mine doesn't look like that
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
