Apparently you make a good broom.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
