It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
