If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
