i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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