I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
