elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
