he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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