Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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