i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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