Acid is not a monday night drug
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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