Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
