Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno

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(702): View more from Nevada

Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?

(1-702): View more from Nevada

You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.

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(847): View more from Illinois

can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...

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(574): View more from Indiana

almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea

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(207): View more from Maine

I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday

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(434): View more from Virginia

You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.

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(256): View more from Alabama

You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?

(938): View more from

I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter

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