$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
