I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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