okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
