nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
