I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I love having hate sex.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
