Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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