Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
