i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
