there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
