you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
