the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize