On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Randomize
