I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
